Guest Post: A Child's Eye View of Disability

I am so pleased to bring you today's guest post!

Gary Presley is the author of numerous essays on disability, among other subjects. His memoir Seven Wheelchairs: A Life beyond Polio was published last year by The University of Iowa Press. Reach him at www.garypresley.com

He is one of the nicest men I've ever "met" in the blogging world. Thanks so much Gary for sharing this great article with us!

A Child's Eye View of Disability

Most parents have blushed when a child does or says something inappropriate in public. And if there's a person with a visible physical disability involved, the parent might want to run the other way.

All that's simply kids being kids, of course, but when disability is involved, it provides a parent a chance to help a child to grow in awareness of the real world.

What should you do if your child asks what you perceive as inappropriate questions?

One thing I've learned after 50 years riding through life is that children are perfectly able to handle the concept of physical disability, are less ready to respond with prejudice, and more willing to accept the reality that people with disabilities can live happy lives.

* That means you should accept the questions. And then let the person with the disability respond.
* Allow an open discussion. Children instinctively know when adults are evasive.
* Be patient. The fact that people can live full lives with a disability can't be explained in one or two sentences.
* Listen as your child responds. Don't judge. Don't criticize.
* Most of all encourage your child to see the person rather than the disability. It's one more step in your quest to have your child learn to respect everyone's value.
* Stress the positive aspects of assistive devices like wheelchairs, braces, or hearing aids. For example, remind your child no one is "confined" to a wheelchair. A wheelchair is not a prison. A wheelchair is mechanical liberation from the effects of a disability.
* Remind your child that wheelchairs and other aids are not toys. Many of the modern technical devices are sophisticated and expensive. And they are vitally important to the life of the person your child is meeting.

Long ago, I saw a little girl, perhaps five years old, standing at a shop door as I moved down the mall concourse in my power wheelchair.

"Look!" she said, tugging on the arm of her younger brother. "It's magic!"

Her remark made me smile, but it also reminded me that, unless a child has a person with a disability in her family, she might never deal with the concept of disability on a day-to-day basis.

That's a shame. Children who learn to see people with disabilities as one more citizen in their everyday world may learn lessons in compassion and tolerance, pride and perseverance.

And no magic is required.

Family

Today I bring you another guest post from a talented blogger friend. Bobbi Janay is one of the nicest, most supportive folks I've had the pleasure of "meeting" in the blogsphere. Here blog is a fantastic read ans I am sure you all will enjoy her as much as I do!

Bobbi Janay is a 24 year old wife and mother who lives in Plano, Tx with her husband Casey, 6 month old son Ian, and faithful furry friend FootFoot. She is a girl from small town Texas, who woke up one day and realized holy cow when did I become a grown up? You can read more about their adventures (uninhibited, unedited, and uncut) at When did I go from a kid to a grown up? You can also find her on twitter @BobbiJanay.

While sitting in Starbucks one night it was empty except me and the staff. Then walked a family of four who were happily spending there Friday night together. They got there drinks, sat down opened a pack of cards and began playing hearts. While watching them enjoy there time together doing something as a family without technology. Listening to them reminisce and lovingly pick at each other, made me hope that in the future that my own family will become that way and my extend family will remain that way.


I grew up in a tight knit family we all lived with in 15 minutes of each other. We saw each other at least once a week. I love my Aunts, Uncles and Cousins they are some of my best friends. We are an open family where no subject was taboo (didn't mean we wouldn't argue about it), if you had a question you could ask anyone and they would try to answer it to the best of their abilities and at the level you were on.


2007 was a rough year for my family on July 2 we lost my Cousin Rusty who was only 19, who left behind a Wife and 2 babies under 2 and then at the end of October we lost my Grannie. She was the rock of our family. At that point in my life I had never been more angry or depressed. I was terrified that my family was going to fall apart. That everything I loved about my family was going to slip away, but Christmas came and we rallied together determined to come through all of the sorrow that had recently gripped our family.

Nearly two years have passed since my family was overcome with sorrow. So much has changed in the past two years five babies have joined our family. One of which was my own son Ian, it is amazing how my family has banded together to make sure the newest members see that we are as close knit and loving as ever. Even though we don't all live with in 15 minutes of each other anymore. We may not get together in person as much anymore, when we do not everyone may be able attend. We might accidental plan birthday parties, baby showers, and other family events on top of each other(true story just happened last month). But the love I grew up seeing and cherishing so much is still there. I hope to be able to show that love to Ian and let him drink it in. I want my son to grow up loving his cousins and end up being as close to them as I am to mine. I also want Ian to have the same kind of relationship with Casey and I as had with my parents, open honest two way communication. I know that having that with my parents helped turn me into the woman I am today.


I guess what I am trying to say is that family is the greatest thing a person is ever given. Even when you are at your worst, family are the ones that try to help you over come the obstacles that stand in your way. So no matter what place you are in with your family make sure they no how much you care, cause you never know what might happen in the next instance.