Depression, Life, & A Road Trip

29 October 2008
**This photo is titled Sadness and is by Eric Perrone**

Yesterday afternoon, I called hubby at work and suggested we go on a road trip this weekend. It seems he'd been thinking the exact same thing, so we began to plan. You'd think I'd be happy, but less than 24 hours later life is getting in the way and I'm doubting myself.

I have 15,000 loads of laundry to do and with hang drying, it is not a speedy process.

Then I need to pack. And get the house in tip top shape, as coming home to a messy house is so depressing.

And the kids are not thrilled because they can't trick or treat if they are stuck in the car for 4+ hours. The funny thing is, we weren't going trick or treating anyway, kids!

But, by mid morning, I was getting stuff done and thinking it won't be so bad. Then it happened. Ya know, the thing at the end of this sentence. Cramps that had me doubling over came on full force. Well, at least we know why I've been having crazy mood swings, lol. So, I pop a couple of Midol and hope it helps. I have too much to do to deal with this right now.

I think my main problem is my depression messing with me. Hubby thinks it will be good for me to get away and unwind a little. But, I'm already thinking how many gallons of paint the gas money would buy and what we could get done this weekend working on the house. Honestly, the house is big time stressing me out lately. I feel like we are making no progress at all with updating it. And it's a wreck. All the time. And worse yet, lately I don't care. I'd rather crawl in bed and sleep and hope it all goes away. As I realize what I'm typing this voice in my head is screaming "Hello! You have depression you big dope! That is what makes you think that way!" But knowing it and overcoming it are two different things. I normally manage my depression pretty well, but every now and then I get really blue. With all that's going on around here, I suppose a non depressed person would get a little stressed.

So, maybe hubby is right, it might be good to go on a mini vacation. Seeing our friends and family sounds great! I miss them so! Plus, maybe we'll get to do something fun. Maybe we'll stumble across the stove we've been looking for. Or splurge and go out to eat at one of those yummy places we miss. I'm sure it will be fun.

I just gotta snap out of this funk I'm in. To all you other moms with depression, are there certain times when you get really down? What do you do to snap out of it?


Bekah said...

I am not a mom, but I have dealt with depression, and still do at times(i.e. the dreaded winter)

You just have to look at the other side, and you are. It doesnt mean it will be easy, but you can do it! I found that although I wanted to be alone in depression, I needed people there with me. You should take the trip, take a break, forget the stuff at home, forget the paint, enjoy your time alone with just your kids and your husband without things like laundry breaking up that time.

Wep said...

You need to find your sweet spot. It's not the same for everyone. For me it's a Starbucks, a good book and a thick blanket. Do what makes YOU and only YOU happy.

Feel better!

Jackie said...

Hi Vanessa,
I have dealt with depression all of my life.

So severely that I have had a shrink for 10 years and am classified 100% disabled.

But, I also have PTSD and chronic anxiety.

First off I think you are making the right move by taking a break.

You have been blogging now everyday since I happened upon your blog.

And trust me that will wear you down also.

I myself am sitting here right this moment trying to figure out exactly how I am going to tell all of my readers that I too am going to take a few days off.

Get away, forget about your blog, your house, and everything else.

Just go, relax, and have fun!!

I hope you take pictures...I would love to see you relaxing!!

Happy day:-)))))

Scarlet O'Kara said...

Oh Nessa...if I could crawl into this blog right now, I would give you a big hug and let you know that you are not the only one that has dark times. I keep going in and out of the darkness too...but what keeps me heading back into the sunshine is my beautiful family and friends.

With that being said, pack up the car and head out on your fun road trip. Refuel your soul with the love and laughter of all the people who care about you.

Sure...the extra gas money could go towards the list of home repair items...but sometimes you have to get away too.

Hugs and prayers to head to the son-shine!

Felicia said...

It seems like about this time of year is when most people start to feel a little down. I know that my own mother suffers from Seasonal Depression.

It sounds like getting out should be a wonderful remedy!

I hope you are feeling better soon!

Unknown said...

I know exactly how you are feeling. Wish I could get away this weekend and go on a road trip. It sure would help!!!

Take that road trip!!! Relax and regroup!!! Do it for all of us who can't this weekend but need to!!!

Anonymous said...


Try checking into a couple of things. I have problems starting in the fall every year. I bought a dawn simulating alarm clock and it has really helped. I start using it at the beginning of September (I live in Central Texas) now to help prevent major problems. Look up info on Seasonal Affective Disorder and light therapy. Do you take fish oil? Omega 3 deficiency can cause depression. Rates of depression and bipolar disorder are 30-50 times lower in countries with higher fish consumption. Flax oil IS NOT the same. Do you exercise? It has been shown to be as effective as antidepressants. There is a supplement called Inositol. It is a naturally occuring sugar/B-vitamin and works for depression, OCD and anxiety. Do you get much sunlight during the day? I find when I stay inside too many days in a row my mood swings south. Do you have PMS problems? I have PMDD and notice about a week before my period I go a little haywire. Vitamins can help that, too. Just some ideas from someone who has looked depression in the face many times. Remember, you ARE NOT ALONE. EVER.

Anonymous said...

Sounds to me that a change of scenery will do you and your family a world of good! So, forget the messy house and housework - take a deep breath and leave it all behind. Or get your kids to do some tidying up for you... (easier said than done, I know..)

A dawn simulating alarm clock could help. You should also think of buying a powerful lamp/light that simulates day light - I think they are called Light Therapy Lamps.. They can make a world of difference!

I live in Sweden and lots of people are badly affected by the lack of daylight. We have daylight bulbs in most of the rooms and they do make a big difference too...

lynette355 said...

get more light into your house
come outside more
and try not to be in that bedroom where you can climb into bed
i know how you feel
promise we fight it hard in the fall/winter
take meds

Abby said...

Hey girl!

When are you guys leaving? Cher sand I have to work the Fall festivle at our church on Fri. It's form 6:30 to 8:30 maybe if you get here in time you can bring the kids. That would be fun!