Now, I have never been wasteful with things I get this way. We use them, donate them, send them to the troops, or pass them on to a neighbor. I don't want you thinking I have shelves full of things we will never use collecting dust. Waste was never an issue. I felt that I was doing a good deed by passing things along.
After moving to a new town, I've had lots of time to think and pray about things. I realize now that I was doing a good thing, but with wrong motivation. I loved the thrill of the hunt for great deals. I adored getting free stuff, regardless of what it was. I had a burning desire to shop, which is very much out of character for me. I was doing all of it for me, how it made me feel.
Now I know better. I still faithfully clip coupons and scope out fantastic deals. I am still passionate about frugal living, doing the absolute best I can with as little expense as possible. I still love teaching others how to live well on less. But, I don't do it for how it makes me feel. I no longer get anxious and tense over missing a great deal. Sure, I get disappointed from time to time. And I do sometimes really miss CVS, but it doesn't consume me. I no longer have the burning desire to rush out shopping. When the stockpile gets low, I restock, but I don't add to it all the time. I once felt like I had to do this or we'd starve. I would truly like to have a better food stockpile, but I now realize that will come in time. For the longest I was motivated by envy and jealousy, thinking"I want a stockpile like Jane Doe's! I have to get a huge stockpile RIGHT NOW!" This had very little to do with taking care of my family and everything to do with my selfishness and greed.
Things are different now. I do what I do because it is responsible, it is being a good steward, it blesses my family. And I feel so great! Before I was wound up rather tightly and all my focus was on how well I did with my couponing. I think a lot of us get caught up in the euphoria of scoring great deals. There is something extremely satisfying about knowing you are feeding your family better than ever on less than you ever dreamed. Just make sure you are doing it for the right reasons. Don't let it consume you.
This has been on my heart for a while now. I know a lot of you bloggers out there are very like minded as far as why you do the things you do. I just wanted to share what I had struggled with so it might help others. Maybe I am in a select few who got "hooked on the coupon high" I don't know. But, I just felt this needed to be shared.
