22 April 2014

For everything a reason

There is a reason for everything, even if it's not immediately evident. Last night was testament to this fact. Ever have just an exceedingly strange night? That was tonight for me. So much so that it's way past my bedtime and I'm writing a blog post to try to get stuff out of my head. If I stop making sense, I apologize now. 

It started when a voice from the past reappeared. A person who had been a dear friend just randomly contacted me. We had not spoken in two years, so hearing from her out of the blue was a shock. There was much talking, apologizing, catching up. There were tears, at least on this side of things. Why now? Making the whole thing very odd to me is the fact this person was heavily on my mind last night, then bam, there they are. So many things like this keep happening lately. It's not coincidence I don't think. Maybe I'm losing my mind, maybe it's the lateness of the hour, but I think the Lord is bringing things into my path as He thinks I'm ready for them. This situation, at first, I didn't think I was ready for. It was emotional, but letting go of two years of doubt, regret, and anger? It was priceless. 

Then there was a teary reaction to something that didn't require tears. Do you ever react to something and have no idea why? This is where I'm at currently with a few things. Maybe I'm overly sensitive. Maybe it's PMS. Or maybe in this instance it's because it happened on a social media platform that's been weighing on my mind a lot lately, mostly because of this whole random act of kindness thing. There are parts of social media that are so negative or can turn that way very easily. For weeks now I've been trying to figure out how to spread some kindness there. Perhaps seeing several friends reach the point of throwing there hands up in disgust is the kick in the rear I needed. We shall see. 

Finally, on my heart for quite awhile now has been another person from my past who I had lost contact with. They seem to be walking a path quite similar to mine and something inside is telling me to reach out. I want to, but I don't want them to think I am crazy. Things like that aren't suppose to matter, but if this is something divine urging me, I don't want to send them screaming for the hills. 

My mind is a busy place. See why insomnia plagues me? 
It was a night of healing, reflection, forgiveness, and contemplation. Not a bad night, just very different for me. When I can't get it right in my head, I turn it over to Him because I know He will help. 

This post probably bored you all to tears. Sorry, I needed to get it out of my head. I hope you all had a blessed night. 

21 April 2014

Ugliness, the kindness of strangers, blessings, and a giveaway

Last week was almost surreal. Maybe it seems that way because I'm still medicated, but maybe it really was as amazing as I think it was. I'm going with the amazing thing. Either way, it was a blessed week.

As those close to me know, my teeth are in truly terrible shape and have been for awhile now. It's so weird to go from never having a cavity until I was 21 to all of my teeth breaking and shattering by 35. Not only do they look so terrible that they make me have awful social anxiety, but they've started to make me pretty ill. At first it was just painful, what I assumed was normal for exposed nerve. But, then the infections starting coming along with high fever, swelling, and pain like I can't explain. The past year or so with them has been nightmarish and excruciating. With a low paying job and no dental insurance, it takes saving for months to make a dental appointment. 

On Monday night this all came to a head in a way I never saw coming. I was curled up in bed, tears flowing from yet one more excruciating abscess. My gum looked like it had a marble shoved under it, there was swelling, and nothing I took even made a dent in the pain. My son had apparently had enough. He took some pictures that had been taken a few weeks before, my intent was to send to local dentist seeing if I could get in with someone on a payment plan. Anyway, he took these pictures and did something so kind and thoughtful it took my breath away. Check it out here. The site took down the pics, basically calling them gruesome. Gruesome? They are in my mouth. Anyhow, my son was so concerned about my health, he put together this fundraiser thing. I was incredibly moved.

That on it's own would be a sweet story, but it gets better. People I had not seen in years donated to my cause. Strangers chipped in. Before I knew it there was over $200 put together, enough to at least get me into a dentist for xrays and a consultation. I was stoked! Tuesday rolled around and the abscess burst at work. I spent hours in the ER, getting antibiotics and pain meds for a massive infection. It seemed my son had put the fundraiser together just in time, my teeth had reached a critical level. The nurse at the hospital warned me multiple times that dental infections could get out of hand quite quickly and to be mindful. 

Some more donations have been made, making me hopeful for the first time in a long time. I am incredibly blessed by the generosity of others. The timing of it all, some have called it coincidence. Myself, I say God is good, so incredibly good. Really the kindness shown to me by so many has just left me in awe. Even $5 can help change a life and it means so much that people care so much. I'm still running fever, feeling that run down awful feeling you get with a fever, and am trying to rest a lot. But, my heart is overflowing with gratitude. 

So, a few friends blessed me with gift card this week. One to my favorite place to get shakes since I can barely eat sometimes, which I was thrilled with. Another was to Starbucks, a thank you for "pushing through and having a sweet spirit even when you are hurting" says the card. It did my heart good. All these blessings and kindness have me wanting to spread the love and kindness. This week is going to be all about random acts of kindness and paying it forward for me. It starts here and now, sort of. One of my winners will win this $20 Starbucks gift card. Sound good? Just use the Rafflecopter entry form below. 
a Rafflecopter giveaway

20 April 2014

Happy Easter, my friends!

English: Easter eggs Deutsch: Osterreier im ge...
English: Easter eggs Deutsch: Osterreier im gepflochtenen Osterkorb mit Osterglocke (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

“A man who was completely innocent offered himself as a sacrifice for the good of others, including his enemies, and became the ransom of the world. It was a perfect act.” -- Mahatma Gandhi

19 April 2014

Misery and Happy aka If This Week Had a Soundtrack

The past week has been an emotional roller-coaster. Real life physical misery, hopelessness, happiness, thankfulness, my week was all over the place. So, here are the songs that would accompany a movie of my week.

Misery - Maroon 5

Fever - Michael Buble

Give Me Novocaine - Green Day

Blessed - Martina McBride

Happy - Pharrell Williams 

The Mission/How Great Thou Art - The Piano Guys 

Best Day of My Life - American Authors 

Brave - Sara Bareilles


What was the soundtrack of your week? Would the screenplay be comdey, drama, romance, action, or thriller?

07 April 2014

Best Pinto Beans recipe

English: A closeup look at Burke, the latest p...
English: A closeup look at Burke, the latest pinto bean from ARS and university plant scientists. It resists a host of harmful fungi and viruses that can otherwise cheat growers of a bountiful harvest. Photo by Scott Bauer.http://www.ars.usda.gov/is/graphics/photos/ (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
Pinto beans are filling, budget friendly, and quite tasty if done right. This is my all time favorite recipe for perfect pinto beans. Enjoy!

2 lbs. pinto beans
5 cloves garlic, crushed
2 tsp. cumin powder
2 tsp. oregano
2 tsp. black pepper
1 tsp. salt
2 whole jalapenos
1 lb. saltpork, cut into 1/2 inch pieces
1 gallon of water

Sort and clean pinto beans. Combine all ingredients in a large covered pot. Cook, covered, on medium low heat 3 1/2 to 4 hours. Be sure to stir often. Add 2 to 4 cups of water, depending on the size of the cook pot. Cook on high heat 30 minutes longer, stirring every five minutes.  If you want a thicker broth, remove the lid for the last 30 minutes of cooking.

05 April 2014

35 or 15

bedroom wardrobe-shelves
bedroom wardrobe-shelves (Photo credit: Daveybot)
I think something has happened to me. Somehow I have reverted back to being a teenager. At least that's what you would think if you looked in my bedroom. There's even a fuzzy, furry pillow with an owl on it on my bed, along with four pillows. It's not the most adult bedroom ever. The only real giveaway lies in the various medication and supplement bottles on various surfaces. Teenager meets old lady decor!

Pillows are necessary for your head, body, to pile on the other side. There are dirty clothes strewn about here and there. Then the clean ones, but they are actually folded. Okay, most of them are. There's a pile on the side of my bed that's unoccupied. The rest of the clean ones are folded in a basket. The dirty clothes hamper is hidden in the closet and MOST of the dirty stuff makes it in there. Other than socks; I don't know what happens with them. The trash can needs to be emptied and the trash bag next to it needs to do too. Dusting needs to happen. Heck, a lot of tidying needs to happen. It's crowded and chaotic, shoving 15 years of living into one room is difficult. I even have a calendar featuring hot cowboys. This is the only decor outside of my various owls shoved here and there. Books are filling shelves, laid on every horizontal service, and piled high stacked on the floor. Sometimes the bed gets made, sometimes not. It's messy, but for now it's home. It's me.

Is your room all grown up? Are there stray socks on the floor? Or is everything in it's place and your bed all made up?

04 April 2014

Social Media, My Own Personal Time Sucking Vortex

Social Media Landscape
Social Media Landscape (Photo credit: fredcavazza)
Social media is a big deal. As a housewife in a small town it helped me connect with other people wives and mothers who didn't socialize much. Then it helped me find people with similar interests. Before I knew it, the world of Facebook, Twitter, and then Pinterest opened up to me. Now that I'm working I don't get on as often, but I love social media. You can find recipes, connect with grade school classmates, keep up with friends and family all over the world. No wonder there are so many social media junkies!

As helpful as social media is, it can also be a bad thing. Any of the social media platforms I mentioned above can suck me in and the next thing I know, I've lost hours. Losing myself in DIY projects, family updates, and recipes galore is not necessarily bad, but it's very often not the best use of my time. I love the convenience of social media, just not the reminder of my own lack of self discipline. It's something I struggle with. I can have the best of intentions, going to look for one thing and the next thing I know it's hours later. I am terrible!

Does anyone else struggle with the time sucking vortex of social media?