Jasper Chats With Spank

30 July 2010
When we last left Spank...

Well, Spank thank you so much for giving this interview. I've enjoyed reading your answers and... *sound of a door opening* Oh, my. Spank, I feel they knew I was interviewing you. Two incredibly handsome Cullens just walked into my house. Jasper is grinning at me and Emmett's pulling me away. It seems Jasper has a few questions for you. I hope you'll consent to another interview for him.

Spank, darlin, I'm sure you won't mind answering a few simple questions for me. The interviewer is now @JasperHale. ;) I'd hate this to be non-consensual in any way, so please be honest. Keep it clean too, dearest one. How do you feel about the idea of answering a few little questions for me?

Keep it clean? *shakes my head* I'm sorry, did you call me dearest one? *blushes* I much prefer that to Darlin'. *sighs softly, nodding* I will do anything for you, Jasper. *raises brow, smirking* And I have all the answers for any of your, questions, Mr. Hale.

Excellent. Let's dive right on in, then. I've wondered, when did you start following my account on twitter?

It has been a very long time, Jasper. Dare I say I have enjoyed following you since you began gracing Twitterville with your presence. Yes, I have followed you. *looking you over* You have a nice backside, by the way.

Very nice turn of phrase, dearest one. You do have an amazingly quick mind. Do you have a favorite tweet? A favorite moment or plotline? From me, please darlin. Right now, I'm your audience.

Are you saying that I have command of your attention, Mr. Hale. *smiles* This could get interesting. *waving my hand around easily* As for my favorite moment, it is hard to pinpoint because you are so dramatic and your plots have always been very captivating. I almost never interrupt with a comment because I am transfixed by where you are going. I remember becoming very excited when I saw you following a certain news story. I am hoping this will bring you together once again with that fiery Mexican.

I'm glad to hear someone is enjoying my plots. There are times I wonder if I'm only writing for myself. Not that that would stop me, of course. Speaking of fiery Mexicans, what's your opinion on Maria?

Oh I have great respect for Maria. I know this troubles you *lowers my lids, whispering* and I do so hate to disappoint you. *looks up slowly, grinning* But she made you and I am ever so grateful to her for this... gift. And she's strong, and fierce.

Your opinion differs from mine, as you know. However, you're entitled to it and I did ask. What would you like to see from me on twitter?

Aside from you leaving Alice for me? *laughs softly* I love your monologues, actually. There is nothing more captivating to me than when I read your thoughts. *laughs* Makes me feel like your inferior brother in a way. But I do love those. And you can say hi to me from time to time. *smiles*

Inferior brother. *chuckles* What would you like to see from my family, whether Cullens or the entire group - The Olympic Coven RPG?

I think what you all do is what no other family does, and that is tell really intricate stories that take us beyond Breaking Dawn to a world that has not yet been explored. The family I run with is a completely different form of entertainment and I see no competition between the two. I readily state that I respect what your family brings to the Twitterverse and enjoy thoroughly how you all play. I can readily see high standards with your casting and also with your story plots. They are well defined, and extraordinarily played.

Anything you'd change on twitter? Other than your bizarre ideas about getting rid of my wife, of course.

*laughs loudly* See above answer. Other than that idea - which mind you is not THAT bizarre - I would not change a thing. I am loving the new story with respect to Emmett and Rose's family planning and your take on the situation is perfectly played.

Thank you for that. I thought my position on the issue perfectly logical and well-clarified. I'm sure the family meeting about that issue will be interesting once it happens. No point in looking to the future now, however, so we'll continue the interview. I'm not a fan of human food, but I once was. Let me live vicariously. What's your favorite meal?

You may actually like my favorite meal. It is an Ethiopian dish called Raw Kitfo. It is actually raw beef, tossed over a flame to warm up and served with this incredible spicy marinade. Spicy, Jasper. Like me. *winks*

That sounds like an interesting meal. If you had to choose one, what would you want as your last meal?


I'd rather not risk destroying you, dearest one. The world would be a poor place without you. What is your favorite veggie vamp meal?

I would never eat Bambi. Do you drain cows, because I do like me some steak.

Cows aren't my favorite. Herbivores don't taste as good and cows tend to taste heavier to me. I wish I could explain it better. Given the option, I prefer wolf as my meal. When I'm not hunting, I'm a big fan of music and always have been. What's your favorite kind?

I love almost all forms of music but my heart belongs to the alternative genre, most specifically Foo Fighters. Not a bad song sung, in my opinion.

Excellent group. You have very good taste, dearest one. Alright, enough of the favorites. Let's delve a little more. What's your belief on souls?

I believe that if we have souls that your soul stays with you not for as long as you draw breath but for as long as you have the capacity to heal, or harm, by your actions, words and deeds.

Interesting theory, well presented and clear-cut. Very commendable. Do you think vampires have souls?

I believe that all good vampires go to heaven. And, yes, I believe that if we have souls, vampires have them too.

What's your take on life in the Southern Covens vs vampire life in the North?

Well, I do think that the North is far more peaceful than the warring of the Southern Covens. I know you're trying to cage me into speaking ill of Maria and I'll not do it. But I do believe that peaceful coexistence is a good thing, where possible. Sadly, it does not seem possible in the south.

I have my own reasons for harboring an ill will towards my creator. Things may be made clear on twitter in the future. If you could choose, which vampire power/extra ability would you have?

The power of confusion. Imagine how awesome that would be.

Fascinating choice. That ability could work well though physical touch or as a distanced power. It seems similar to the side-effect of Renata's shield.

Pick five words you would use to describe me and explain them please.

Stoic, conflicted, loyal, beautiful and taken. Stoic because your presence is very controlled and you almost have a detached approach to dealing with situations. I believe this is from your military background. You're conflicted because I believe that a strong part of you is still drawn to the natural life of a vampire and you continue to fight against this primal urge for human blood. Your loyalty almost goes without explanation. You have shown your loyalty for your family, even when it upset certain members to help others. You always do what you believe is right and I really respect that about you. Beautiful - you may think I mean your appearance. And while it is true I find you to be breathtaking, you are beautiful inside because all the pain and torment that you have experienced and endured in your life, you still find that love is the greatest gift worth sacrificing for. And last, *grumbles* and least... you are taken, which is such a sadness. Spank will just wait in the wings for when you come to your senses. *shaking my head* I know, I know... you'll say "you'll be waiting forever" which is why I fully intend to become a Spankpire, so time will be on my side. *laughs maniacally*

Well, dearest Spank, thank you for your time today. I've enjoyed this and I'm sure we'll do it another time. If you like, of course. Good day, ma'am. I need to go pull Emmett away from our host for a hunting trip. Do take care of yourself and I'll see you on twitter.

*blushes* You called me dearest. *holds my hand out and smiles mischievously as you hold it* I would love nothing more than do visit with you again. Good day, Jasper. *staring at you, offering a cursory smile at Emmett and watching you walk away, smiling to myself* Yes, his exit is as good as his entrance....


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