Pages

The First Night

lonelyImage by Vermario via FlickrLast night might be the most difficult night of my life. It was the first night of a new life, of knowing he wasn't coming back. I barely slept. Thank goodness I managed to keep it together until Ashley fell asleep. The house was so quiet and empty. She drifted off and I fell to pieces. How long is this sadness going to last?

Thank goodness for Skype. I chatted with friends from all over the world until one by one we fell asleep. I did sleep off and on. It was a restless sleep. I got up and saw Ashley off to school. And I got out of bed. I didn't just lay there and cry. Even though that's all I want to do. I want to curl up in a ball and cry until I'm just empty. And I have no idea if this is a normal reaction. I just know I can't do it.

Ashley needs me. So, I'm going to keep getting up and moving forward. What else can I do?

Photobucket

6 comments:

Tami said...

i have been praying constantly for you. ~hugs

The Tame One said...

You can talk to me, just to vent. ♥Praying for you.

carolpie said...

I am so sorry to hear this. It is very sad for you and your family.

Lynette said...

nessa your right....keep going! do not let the sadness win. and i had to laugh because you said you saw asleep off to school not ashley so it was a giggle. love you and proud of you.....your going to do fine.

Gale said...

I don't know you, and just stumbled here, but I just wanted you to know that I'm praying for you tonight.

Lupe Rodriguez said...

Nessa - I don't even know how or when I came across your blog but I really enjoy it. I feel like I know you ..and I feel your pain thru your words. I wish there was a magic line I could give you to make you feel better but unforunately you will just have to give it time.. time is the best healer... and of course.. give it to GOD !!!! May this hard time in your life pass quickly.. and hoping that you can find your joy.. and make a great life for you and your family. -- Blessings to you. Lupe