My whine is holiday related. Why do they have to be some complicated?
We invited my family for Thanksgiving. My grandparents forgot about it, my mom and step dad just plain blew me off, and my dad will be working. Great!
So, we find out the in laws are available, they live 4 hours away but are coming to mil parents which is 30 miles from here. So, we figure we can invite everyone here. It was very important to me that we celebrate Thanksgiving in our new home, the first non rental we've ever had, the place we never foresee moving away from. After living without a cook stove for 4 months I am eager to cook up a storm! Anyway, DH tells me that no matter what we will do our Thanksgiving meal here together on Thursday, even if it's just the four of us. That is until we are told his brother and sister in law are coming for the holiday as well, so we are all to be at the grandparents house on Thursday.
Looking back, I realize that he told me not to worry, we'll have a great day even if no one else comes here in an effort to keep me from being upset that my family had blown us off. When his family gets figured into the equation everything changes.
Now, please don't read this as me bashing my DH or in laws, because that is not my intent. I'm just really aggravated! My issues is with him promising me one thing, then changing his mind. He says no matter what he does, someone will be mad. If he insists we go there for Thanksgiving, I'll be upset, but if he lets us do it here he gets mad parents and grandparents. I do understand his dilemma. But, I feel that my feelings have been disregarded. When put in a position like this, my DH always tends to hurt me rather than someone else. It seems my feelings don't matter as much to him as those of others. Sometimes I just want to jump up and down and scream "What about me?!" But every time I think that way or worse yet, share those feelings I decide that my mindset is selfish. But if we are all supposed to put the feelings of others first, then why did this seem to be a never ending cycle?
So, it looks like we will go to the grandparents for Thanksgiving. I am looking forward to spending time with my in laws and DH can't wait to spend some time with his brother. He says we can fix our own feast over the weekend, but I think I'm too disheartened to even bother.
Wow, this turned into a long ramble! Sorry about that! Anyway, how do y'all handle the holidays? Does it bring major stress and unrest to your house? Any suggestions on how to make this situation better? I'd love to hear what you have to say.
