One Day At A Time

Image by Ava Lowery via FlickrIt's been a month now and it's still hard. So many emotions to deal with on any given day. Trying to answer Ashley's questions can be difficult. Then there is missing Tris and dealing with the fact he often doesn't want to talk to me. And finally there is the overwhelming feeling of loss. I swear the death of a marriage is like a real death. I'm grieving. When someone you love dies, you don't just stop loving them. It's the same with this. Sometimes I am strong and can handle everything with ease. Then the insomnia comes and I'm up for 70+ hours and get emotional. Anger, sadness, loss, it's all a jumbled mess. I'm still taking it one day at a time. There are great days and there are rotten ones. Fortunately the rotten ones are getting to be not as often.

Today was a rotten one. Then my grandmother stopped by. All it took was a hug and I felt a little better. There are people who love me. It helps to be reminded of that sometimes.

Thanks to all of you who keep the kids and I in your prayers. It means the world to me. Ash and I are making it, one day at a time.

Things I'm Discovering

Other than the obvious reasons divorce sucks, I discover new things everyday. Like today, I finally got to speak to my son after a month of not hearing from him. I cannot explain how it made my heart swell just hearing his voice. But, it was the things I heard in the background that had me in tears the minute the call ended.

When a couple splits, you lose more than your spouse. You lose a whole family. For 15 years these people were my family. I love them, all of them. How do you just turn that off? How do you wrap your mind around the fact that your husband was posting on Facebook about his plans to leave you (true story, shows how often I check Facebook) and they were cheering him on. I'm not just losing my husband, but parents, grandparents, sisters, a brother, a niece and nephews. All of whom are dear to me. It hurts more than I can explain and I don't know how you just let go of people who are important to you.

Honestly, I've never felt more alone in my life. I know some of y'all have been in my shoes... does it get better? How do you get through losing a whole family?

Reigniting the Spark

As I'm sure you noticed, my focus lately has be on rekindling the spark within my marriage. After 15 years, things can get rather... routine. Add in not much time and little money and spending romantic time together can be a challenge. I know I'm not the only one who can use some creative ideas to liven things up.

I was surprised to find some books that look helpful in an unlikely place, the EdenFantasys website. In all honesty, I was expecting nothing more than collections of naughty stories and sex manuals. This was not the case. They offer everything from erotic fiction to books on how to add more romance to your relationship. Titles such as 1,001 Ways to Be Romantic and 500 Great Dates particularly caught my eye. These two plus a few more have been added to my wishlist.



What do you and your significant other do for a romantic, inexpensive date night?



Disclosure: I was provided with a gift card in exchange for this post. The opinions expressed here are 100% my own and were not edited in any way.

We Talk, But Do We Listen?

There has been much written about what couples say versus what their partners actually hear. This is something I know I've struggled with. There have been times I've looked at Dan like he had two heads thinking he didn't listen to me at all. I've recently found out he has felt the same way at times. I am not sure how to combat this problem, but I'm working on it. After talking the past few weeks, there is one thing I'm clear on, we were not really hearing what the other has been saying. And then we just stopped talking.

My heart was crying out for this...



While he was asking this...



I think it's time to reread the book his parents gave us as a wedding gift, Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus. It may be too late, but learning how to communicate is never a bad thing.

Have you ever reached a point in your relationship when communication just seemed to stop? If so, how did you handle it?

Love Is A Verb by Gary Chapman

I am a big Gary Chapman fan. I devoured his book, The Five Love Languages and try very hard to cater to the love languages of my family. Mr. Chapman's writing really helped me better understand the needs of my spouse, and that is a great thing!

His new book, Love Is A Verb, is just as good as the first one of his I read. It is full of different stories of people who are remembering love is a verb. It is not just something you say, it is an action, something you do. I found the book inspiring and full of important life lessons. It points out that life can be full of ups and downs that test a person and their family. To survive the rocky road, we must see love as more than a feeling, but a choice. When we choose to love someone, we have to put effort into, not just say it. It isn't just a feeling, but an action that we must keep doing.

I highly recommend this book. Gary Chapman reminds us all to love those around us; to really love them. What family can't benefit from a little more love?